Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
