I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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