so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
