Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
