Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
