she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
