Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
