When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
