OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
