So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
