He had one of those small greek statue penises
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize