is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
