ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I know her cup size but not her name....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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