i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
