Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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