Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
