it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
