just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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