all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
