At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
