is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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