apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
