You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
