Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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