my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
