yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
