Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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