So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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