Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
