i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize