The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
