Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
