I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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