i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
