The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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