uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
