We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
