Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
