I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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