We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
