My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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