im drinking this country out of the recession.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
