I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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