He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
