You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
