Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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