you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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