one word: firstdatebathroomanal
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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