And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
