That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
