Non-Jews are for practice
you would pick up someone in the library
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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