Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
