May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am naked and annoyed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
