I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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