Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
