At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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