So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
