Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize