apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
