Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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