If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
